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Location: Orlando, Florida, United States

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Seeds of Hope

Ok, so at the moment things are really good…peachy actually. I’ve quit my job that was living hell every day for me so now I’m just at the bookstore. Things are great there. I love my job, love the people I work with, and it’s a rather relaxing environment compared to The Big Blue Ball of Hell. No, I’m not making enough $$, but at the moment my sanity is worth struggling with the bills a little. I have more free time to write, dance, work out, spin flags, read…and look for another job. We all remember how long that can take here in the Sunshine State. I have good friends…who I will actually get to see now that I’m not working 16 hour days five days a week. More time to explore this nifty little city I’ve chosen to call home for the moment. Every time I leave the house and go somewhere new I find more stuff that makes me really like living here. It’s a nice town with lots of stuff to do that doesn’t involve rodents. I only wish I had taken more time to explore when I first moved here. But oh well, I guess there’s no time like the present. I have a great guy (nope, we’re still not using the boyfriend/girlfriend terms and yes, it’s way too complicated to explain) who I love spending time with. Not only is he weird and artsy (thank you Carolyn…you all already know that I like that type :o) but he’s also very hot and talented. I think this is the first man that I’ve ever dated that fit my description of being “my type” in the looks department. Dark hair, dark gorgeous eyes….he’s beautiful…but I won’t brag. He has a great personality. He can be silly and sweet and serious…he even broods (which yes, I find sexy when done at the right time). He’s creative and talented which means that he understands me and we all know what a gift that is. Is he perfect? No, but after the whole Kenn thing, I’d be worried if I saw him that way at this point. He does make me happy, however and for now, that’s all I’m asking. A little happiness is a nice thing. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and he makes me think…all traits that make me want to get to know him more and snuggle even closer to him on the couch. And I’m not a cuddly person :o) So…for now…things are ok. Who knows if this will last forever or if I’ll even want it to, but at this point, he’s definitely someone I want to pursue more of a serious relationship with…and that’s enough on that.

So, while I’m happy for now, I bought Avril Lavigne’s new CD a while back (ok, it was new when I bought it) and it has a great song on there…very nice lyrics. I heard it on the radio for the first time today, but I’ve been listening to it since I got the CD. It’s kinda dark, but I like that and even though I’m happy today, who knows when I’ll need another melancholy song to fit my mood. So here are some more lyrics….


Avril Lavigne
Nobody’s Home


I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
I's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeahShe's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

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